I dream of....Pork? Chicken? Possum?? No, not possum

Did you ever have a idea that came to you in a dream, that you tried in the waking world....and it worked?? Well, the following recipe came to me a couple of nights ago (I guess sleeping with the Food Network on does something?).This is a combo of French haute cuisine, bar snack food and killer kid chow. Im still working on a name. This recipe combines chicken cordon bleu, buffalo wings and french cheese. Ideas , anyone?
I think it will be called "Buffalo Blues Chicken bites" That works.Please try this one at your next party and let me know how it works for you and yours.Namaste

Buffalo Blues Chicken Bites

12 skinless,boneless chicken tenders
4 slices good boiled ham (or cappicola if you like it mo' spicy)
1 tub blue cheese crumbles
1 small block Monterey Jack cheese
2 eggs
1 cup AP flour (seasoned with garlic powder,onion powder , salt and pepper)
1 cup corn flour
1 stick butter melted
1/2 bottle Franks hot sauce
12 toothpicks
Deep fryer or deep vessel with oil for frying
Ranch or Blue cheese dressing for dipping


Pound chicken tenders flat and thin
Cut ham into strips, a little smaller than chicken strips
Cut Jack cheese into 1/2" blocks
Lay ham onto flattened chicken strip
Place Jack and Blue cheese into center of ham
fold corners to make a little bundle
Secure bundle with toothpick
place bundles in fridge to get cold (this helps the batter stick)

Heat oil
beat two eggs with a couple of drops of water in a small bowl
place corn flour in zip top bag
place seasoned flour in another bag
Dip chicken bundle into egg, then shake off excess
Place chicken in seasoned flour bag and shake
Dip coated chicken back in egg
Place the chicken in the corn flour bag and shake
Put chicken on a drying rack till all are battered well (the longer you wait ,the crisper the chicken will be)
Fry chicken in small batches at 375 till brown and crispy (if they float,they done)
Keep warm till ready to coat with buffalo sauce

Mix melted butter and Franks Hot sauce in a bowl
dip cooked chicken to coat

Serve with Ranch or Blue cheese dressing
WARNING*WARNING*WARNING
When the bundles come out of the oil, the cheese will be liquid LAVA
Do not, repeat , do not eat right out of the fryer, you will burn your lips off !!

For Your Eyes (and Tummy) Only...Secret BBQ Rub

Hi Ya Foodies,
I know its been a while, but Ive been busy. The music store world sucks dead doggie buttholes (hows that for whetting your appitite?).Alot of food buddies want to know how to make my BBQ rub for all pork (the beef rub is slightly different).So here ya go.Make a bunch becuase you will use it for everything on the grill!! if kept in a airtight contanier and away from light, it lasts forever!! Just remember, you can do your own mod on this very easily (if you want it hotter, sweeter etc etc)
O yes, all the measurments are in "parts" a part is cayup, coffee cup, mayo jar, whatever !!!Like I said, make a bunch, its even good on ice cream (not really)

Arts BBQ Rub

1 part white table sugar
2 parts dark brown sugar
1 part salt
1/2 part cayenne pepper
1/2 part garlic powder
1/2 part onion powder
1/4 part Old Bay seasoning
1/4 jalapeno powder

Thats it.put it in a MASON JAR....If i have to explain what that is,you are a Yankee
and wouldny know good bbq if it bit you on your yankee ass.....sorry, that was rude.
take one Mason lid and poke holes in it (show you can shake it on your meat...shut up) then cover it with a none-poked lid !! store in the fridge 4-ever.

Massage this into your pork, wrap in plastic and let sit in the fridge for 24 hours (or at minimum 1 hour) Sprinkle a tiny bit in your tomato soup in the winter,its killer

Making Ice Cream for my Max

Robyn was cleaning out the cabinets one day and found my Rival Ice Cream Maker.If you have never seen one, it has a 1 quart tub that you freeze for 24 hours and a lid/paddle assembly.You mix together your ingredients, let them get cold, pour into the machine and 20 minutes later you have really good homemade soft serve ice cream.No Ice,No salt, no cranking!!!This week I have made peach sorbet,Strawberry and chocolate Ice cream.Maxy,s fav is chocolate, so he gets the choice tonite.You can use these recipes in a standard ice cream machine too !!

Max's Super Chocolate Ice Cream
1 pint heavy cream
1 small can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup of chocolate syrup (the kind you make chocolate milk with)
1 teaspoon chocolate powder (ditto)
1 egg

Get all ingredeints ICE COLD
Mix in a large bowl
pour into ice cream machine
wait till its as hard as you like (please, no jokes here)
Serve and gain the love and respect of your kids!!!

A Cool,Crabby,Southern Dinner

Hi ya Foodies !!
I had a HORRIBLE day at work.One of those "climb the watertower and take aim" type days.Well, sometimes cooking up a new dish will make me feel better. With the temps edging 100 degrees the last thing you want to do is fire up the oven !! Other than a little shallow frying this dish is all no-cook, chilled goodness.Trace, my oldest boy, and I were working on a new chip /dip recipe when I made some small mods to have a wonderful Creole Crab Salad. Mix that with a crisp ,tangy fried green tomato, you have a Crab/Tomato Napoleon !! You can charge more for a dish when you name it all fancy like that!! To wash it down, we had some tropical fruit that was at that perfectly ripe. almost too ripe stage, so I made a mango/pineapple/strawberry smoothie, that can
be "adulterated" with a little of the Mr. Bacardi's 151 proof "make Daddy happy juice" !!
Please someone make this tonite and let me know how you like it!!

Creole Crab Salad Napoleon

1 8 oz can white crab meat (if ya wanna be fancy buy the jumbo lump crabmeat in the deli, but jeez its way more costly ,Thanks BP !)
4 slices (per serving) fried green tomatoes (Look at my past posts, its there)
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup Dukes Mayo
1 tsp good hot sauce (I like Franks, but any Tabasco style will do)
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon good quality chilli powder
lettuce leaves (butter lettuce or even iceberg)

Mix together sour cream,mayo and spices
fold in crab very easily
chill for 30 minutes

to assemble:
Place lettuce on plate
add a slice of tomato
cover with crab salad
repeat tomato and crab salad 2 times.
Your done !! Enjoy

Dance on de tables smoothie (IF SERVING TO KIDDIES LEAVE OUT STRAWBERRIES, JUST KIDDIN!!)
1 Very ripe mango
1 large pineapple
1 pint strawberries
lemon juice
2 cups simple syrup
1 cup sugar
ice
151 dark rum (leave this out, and its a good healthy smoothie)

Peel and chop mango
peel and chop Pineapple
hull and quarter strawberries
place all in a bowl and cover with sugar and 2 squeezes of lemon juice
let stand in fridge.The longer you wait the better your drink

place 1 cup of ice in blender then add
2 cups of fruit mix
1 cup of simple syrup
blend on high till smooth
pour into sugar rimmed glass
add 2 shots of 151 rum
Drink up Shriner!!!!

p.s Simple syrup is 1 part sugar to 1 part water boiled for 10 minutes
until all sugar is disssolved.This makes a great sweetener for tea or Kool aid and stays good for months in the fridge

Cheese ,Please...

Hi ya,
Sorry for the long delay between posts, but things have been a bit....lets say, trying? Summer is the season of death in the music biz and Im fighting for my (business) life.Enuff of that, this is for fun!! I have really wanted to make cheese for a long time and have been researching different ways to make cheese that are simple for the first timer.The first cheese I am going to make is a Indian "Paneer" cheese. It is very light, fresh and non-aged (I guess you could age it and give it a rind)I love this stuff in Indian curries and spread on a nice round of Garlic nan bread.It is not a melting cheese, think more like a less tangy cream cheese. Wish me luck !! Into the (fromage) abyss!!

Paneer Cheese

1 quart plain, full fat yogurt, live cultures please
1 tsp salt
1 large piece cheese cloth
1 large metal bowl
2 chop sticks

Empty yogurt onto cheese cloth
Tie cheese cloth into a hobo bundle
Twist tightly until liquid begins to seep from yogurt
Run chopsticks thru top of bundle
hang sticks to suspend bundle over bowl
place in fridge over night
Next morning, open bundle, remove cheese to flat dry surface
sprinkle with salt
shape to a round
You can eat and enjoy now or cook with later
Enjoy your new title of "Fromagier" which either means cheese maker or frog likker
Im not sure? :)

Diablo Shrimp and Grits for Joy

Yes, I know I have been away for a bit and there have been no new mouthwatering foods for you to check out.Tonite I will reverse that trend.My old buddy Joy had asked about shrimp and grits so, I guess this one is for her !! I call them Diablo, cause well, they can be really spicy, adjust the hot pepper down for a more wimpy version !! Please leave me comments and let me know how Im doing !!

Diablo Shrimp and Grits

1 pound large shrimp
1 large onion chopped
1 bell pepper chopped
1 bunch green onions chopped, save the greens for garnish
1 tsp chopped garlic
2 cups chicken broth
2 cup heavy cream
1 jalapeno pepper chopped fine
2 cups uncooked REAL grits (no instant allowed)
1 stick butter
Creole seasoning to taste
8oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Bring large pot of water to boil with a pinch of salt
add shrimp, let cook till pink (about 1 minute)
remove shrimp and reserve

Follow directions for grits
when creamy, add 1 cup cream and cheese
whisk till cheese is melted and grits are smooth
cover and keep warm

Melt butter
add flour (your making a roux, again)
stir,stir and stir
stir till roux is a peanut butter color
add all vegetables, cook till soft
add chicken broth and stir
add 1 cup of cream
salt pepper and creole seasoning to taste

to serve:
place grits in bottom of bowl
add 3to 4 shrimp
cover with the gravy
Enjoy!!
Be sure you have lots of french bread to sop up all the jucies !!

The Pork Chops of doom with rice and cream gravy

Got a good deal on pork chops.Wanted mashed potatoes...forgot to buy them (dumbass) had a nice bag of rice and some heavy cream...I knew it would turn out well. Even Max ate 3 chops !!! I will tell one of my secrets to killer fried food. Tony Chacheres Creole seasoning mix!! Its a combo of about 12 of my favorie spices and a little heat ! Try it on anything from scrambles eggs to ice cream......Im kiddin bout the ice cream.Thanks to all ya'll for reading my blog,as my followers are growing in number and the food ad folks are starting to contact me!! This is great.Thanks again!!


Killer pork chops

2 pounds thin pork chops (1/2" thick)
1 cup flour
2 tbl spoon Tony Chacheres creole seasoning
1 cup of milk
2 eggs

Put flour and spices in a ziplock bag
mix eggs and milk in a large bowl
dip each chop in milk mixture
then place in bag and shake till coated
shake off excess flour
Heat 1/2" vegtable oil in a CAST IRON PAN...Must be cast iron and old and from your grandma....not really, but it makes for a better story
fry till golden brown ,crispy and delicious!!


Cream Gravy
1 pint heavy cream
1 stick butter
1 cup flour
salt and pepper to taste

melt butter in a pot
add flour and whisk
whisk
whisk
whisk
and whisk till smooth
cook for 2 to 3 minutes
whisking the whole time
add cream
whisk ,ditto
bring back toa boil
if it gets to thick, add a little more milk

Rice
3 cups rice ...REAL RICE...not in a boil bag, not instant...just rice
5 cups water
1 stick butter
salt

boil water with salt and butter
add rice
turn down to simmer, place lid on
simmer for 20 minutes till water is evaporated

Eat.....its good
Fry up some love and feed somebody

Frank Zappa (Dont let your) Meatloaf

Made this Tuesday night....in a big hurry and damnit, its the best meatloaf I have ever eaten!!! Had to make a simple ingredient sub right at the end, which is what I think put it out of the park!! Very moist, very tender and just the right amount of spice. And BTW, Frank Zappa had a song lyric that went "Dont let your meat loaf,haw haw haw!!

Frank Zappa Meatloaf

2 pounds 73/27 ground beef
1 pound hot breakfast sausage
2 large eggs
1 cup bread crumbs
2 large sweet onions (hot damn, Vidalias are in season!)
1 large bell pepper
2 table spoons garlic crushed
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup sweet chilli garlic sauce (any brand)
1/4 cup worchestershire suace
4 or 5 good shakes of hot sauce
salt
pepper

chop onion , bell pepper and garlic and saute in butter until tender then reserve
then in a bowl, mix together (with your hands): The ground beef,sausage, eggs and bread crumbs,salt and pepper
add cooked veggies
DO NOT OVERWORK THIS MIXTURE....it will be tuff if you do!!
add worshestershire and hot sauce
grease a large glass baking dish
shape meat mixture into a even loaf size (so it will cook evenly)
mix together ketchup and chilli suace,then spread all over meatloaf

bake at 400 for 1 hour, covered with foil
turn up to broil, remove foil and cook for 10 minutes
serve with mashed potatoes or my mac and cheese
Even better as a sandwich the next day!!!!!

Welcome to Club Moofus.......

Club Moofus....That sounds much better than just being a "follower" of my blog? Right? How do you like the clubhouse (the pic up at the top)? Well, thats what the clubhouse will look like if I hit the Powerball tommorow night.If I dont hit it, Club Moofus will continue to meet every third Tuesday of months ending in the letter "J" at the Royal Order of Waterhead Buffalo lodge # 666. Can you tell Ive had no sleep? I was asking my good friend/babysitter/kid Kasey if there was something simple (hey, Im tired) that she would eat, that I could put on my blog.Her answer shocked the pee outta' me!! She wants my Fried Green Tomatoes !! This is the person that is president of the "Mater Haters" club on Myspace . It is one of my favorite southern dishes and a simple recipe to boot. I am also including the spicy dipping sauce I make to go with them. Then to sleep, perchance to dream.........


Fried Green Tomatoes, Arties style

3 medium green (unripe) tomatoes
1 cup flour
1 cup italian bread crumbs
2 eggs beaten
1 cup of milk
1 tsp hot sauce
salt and pepper
paprika
oil for frying

slice tomatoes 1/4" thick
put milk in a shallow bowl
put egg in a shallow bowl
mix flour, bread crumbs and spices in a ziplock bag
dip slices in milk, then in egg
place in ziplock bag with the flour/bread mixture and shake to coat
remove from bag, fry on med/high till Golden brown and crispy
drain on paper towel

spicy dipping sauce

1 cup DUKES mayo (There I go again, Dukes are you listening?)
1/4 cup creole mustard or any coarse ground mustard
1/4 cup sweet pickle relish
a couple shakes of good hot sauce

Mix everything together, then chill..ta dah..your done

Kids will even eat this !! Another way to trick them into good food
Fry up some love and go feed somebody!!!

What a week %$#@!

Lets see..My wife is in the hospital in Charlotte, my middle son just bunged up his knee at a baseball game and my legs are swollen to the point I cant walk. Other than that this weeks a cakewalk !!! I need comforting and the easiest(and most legal) way of doing that is FOOD!!! Mac and cheese has always been that for me. If any one of your reach for the boxed kind....I will never forgive you.This is a very simple,easy to make recipe.You get to learn how to make one of the 4 "mother" sauces. A very nice white sauce (we here in Dixie call it "Gravy") that can become a gumbo roux, a cheese sauce and tons of other good eats ! Im gonna make this for the Wifey when she returns from surgery. I know she loves it. I miss her soooo bad and wish it was the day she was coming home.

Million Dollar Mac and Cheese
1 pound macaroni (ziti works well too)
1 8oz of white sharp cheddar (shredded)
1 8oz mild yellow cheddar(ditto)
1 8oz cream cheese
1 pint of heavy cream (do not sub milk,as it will be 1/2 million dollar mac and cheese)
1 egg beaten (till it screams like a lil' girl)
1/2 cup flour
1 stick butter
1 cup unflavored bread crumbs
salt and pepper
hot sauce

Boil pasta in salted water until tender , drain and keep warm
melt butter in a heavy sauce pan
add flour and whisk like mad for 4 minutes
add heavy cream and continue to whisk
add cream cheese small chunks at a time
return to boil
add all cheese and whisk till smooth
sauce will thicken as it comes to a boil, a a little more milk or cream if it gets too thick
slowly add egg and stir
taste
add salt and black pepper to taste
5 to 6 drops hot sauce and whisk somemo'
Now combine cheese sauce to pasta in a buttered baking dish
melt second stick of butter
add to bread crumbs and stir till all are coated
place buttered bread crumbs over top of pasta
bake at 350 till top is brown and cheese be bub-bub-bubbling!!
Enjoy and and a nice comment to my blog....please

Baked Brie for me !!!

Baked Brie,one of the gifts of the gods !! I had the this the first time at Cafe Gerhard in Spartanburg SC. Its expensive, takes a long time to order and sounds tough to make.WRONG !!!! Very simple,very easy. I love to make it for friends and family and sit back and rake in the compliments!! Heres to fancy vittles.....

1 pound wedge of brie
1 package puff pastry
1/2 stick of butter

Strawberry sauce (didnt tell ya bout that did I?)

1 pint fresh strawberries
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp lemon juice

Thaw puff pastry
slice strawberries and cover with sugar and lemon juice, the refrigerate
wrap brie in puff pastry (get fancy if you wish)
brush with melted butter
bake in 300 degree oven until golden brown

to make sauce
take berries and liquid and press thru a strainer (dispose of solids)
heat till bubbly in a heavy saucepan and reduce by 1/3
let cool

Serve sauce over slices of the ooey, gooey baked brie
This is wonderful !! Eat up

Cooking beans is a art , the more you cook the more you.....

This recipe is one that everytime we go to a cookout, this has to be there !! Folks dont care if I show, just bring the beans!! I call them Everything beans, cause the have everything for a complete meal in them (cept for a cold glass of ice tea). They are good hot, just out of the oven or cold as if they were packed for a picnic. The day after is even better !! Great as a meal by themselves or with burgers and dogs. Please enjoy.

Everything Beans
2 30 oz cans of baked beans
1 pound hamburger
1 pound hot breakfast sausage
1 7 oz can diced green chillies
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups ketchup
1 cup yellow mustard
1 cup bbq sauce (sweet Memphis style)
10 shakes of hot suace

brown hamburger and sausage and drain
mix all ingredients and pour into large baking dish (the thinner the beans are ,the quicker they cook)
bake at 250 for 4 hours or until liquid is very thick and syurpy
let sit for 20 minutes
Eat a big plateful and prepare for an evil wind...later

Fry up some Love and go feed somebody

Just for Miriam.......Eggplant Parmesan

Miriam is a very good old friend of mine. We go way back (yes, to the one room schoolhouse and the potbellied stove..smartass) and shes been in a lot of pain due to surgery. We dont agree on many things (shes a rightwing wackjob and Im a liberal weenie)This one is for her !! Hope the rest of you dig it too.Its a great way to kids to eat veggies !!

Miriams Eggplant Parmesan

2 large eggplants
1 bottle good quality jarred tomato sauce
1 cup italian bread crumbs
1 cup shredded parmesan
1/2 pound sliced mozzerella
1 egg beaten
1/4 cup of flour
1 pound pasta (your choice, I like it with angel hair

Boil pasta till done in salted water ,drain and keep warm
cut ends off eggplant and slice longways
slice each eggplant longways
salt both sides of eggplant and rest on paper towels for 30 minutes
wipe off excess water from slices
dip slices in beaten egg
dip in flour
dip in egg again
dip in bread crumbs
fry in olive oil until brown and crisp, drain on paper towels
place tomato sauce in baking dish to cover bottom
place fried slices ontop of sauce
cover with parmesan
cover that with mozzerella
bake under broiler till cheese is melted and starting to brown
serve each slice over buttered pasta

Hope you like it Miriam !!

Cartoon Food.......Really

The wife is watching the season finale of "Greys Anatomy" and Im setting here trying to figure out what to blog about. A really good buddy asked me today why I was giving my best recipes away for free, when I was hoping to put them together as a cookbook to sell?. To answer that very smart question...Im only giving away about 1/3 of my best. The book will still be worth every penny.
The reason this one is called CARTOON FOOD is because I got the idea for this dish from the cartoon strip "Dagwood and Blondie" (no, its not a sandwich) Dagwood always begged for "Short Ribs and Kraut"....I wondered, pondered researched and finally had to do it on my own. I am very proud of the reults, although I didnt get to taste the final product until the 3rd time I made it!! The first time, my wonderful wife and her cousin Lisa ate every bite out of the slow cooker before I got home. That happened 3 times Did I mention that it cooks all day while your away at work? A slow cooker is beefs best friend!! Even if you dont like sour kraut, give this a shot.It might change your mind.

Dagwoods Short Ribs and Kraut
3 pounds well marbled (i.e. lottsa fat) beef short ribs
1 pound bag deli sour kraut (rinsed and drained)
1 one sweet onion
Flour
Nutmeg
Salt and pepper
olive oil

Pat ribs dry
put nutmeg (a pinch) and salt and pepper in a ziplock bag and shake to combine
put ribs in to bag and shake
heat a frying pan to high with enough oil to coat the pan well
brown ribs on all sides till crusty
drain ribs on paper towels and let cool
put kraut in slow cooker with sugar
place ribs on top of kraut
turn slowcooker on to high
cover and let cook for 8 hours or until beef falls off the bone
Serve with a nice green salad and a beefy red wine
Dagwood would be proud.

FauxBQ...Please dont shoot me

Yes folks,I said it FauxBQ...fake BBQ. I admit it, I make it, I eat it and I enjoy it.Sometimes you dont have 8 hours to cook or Bridges is closed (Im a Allstons man, but thats another blog) and you need that rich , smoky, porky goodness. Im gonna show you how to do it in 2 hours!! I have fooled many BBQ "experts" with my FauxBQ.Its easy, does not take a lot of special equipment or talent. It does involve a pressure cooker...but, dont freak out.Every Southern bride got one as a wedding gift and now use it as a flower pot, watering can or storage for rice. Fear not, as modern pressure cookers DO NOT BLOW UP..I PROMISE...I did have a old one with a bad seal blow its lid and yes, I had meat juice on the ceiling (and everywhere else) put no one in the kitchen was harmed.I promise, go spend $20.00 and get a new one and follow my directions ! You will be rewarded with succulent meat, that tastes like it should been over hardwood for a week!!

1 large Boston butt or Pork shoulder (I like big butts, I cannot lie)
1 box of chicken broth
2 onions sliced thin
1 head of garlic smashed
1 bottle of Liquid Smoke
salt
pepper
paprika
cayanne
brown sugar
onion powder
garlic powder

Rub pork with spices till covered (do use as much cayanne, unless you want nuke mouth)
let sit in fridge for 30 minutes
Pour broth into pressure cooker
add onions and garlic
add 1/2 of the liquid smoke
place pork in pressure cooker
liquid should come up halfway on pork
lock top on pressure cooker and add weight that controls pressure
place on high heat on stove
untill steam comes out top (if steam is coming out sides, you didnt lock the top)
turn down to medium and let cook for 1 and 1/2 hours
turn off heat
remove weight from top and vent steam
when steam is vented, open top and remove pork to platter
if the bon comes out in your hand, the pork is done
pull pork apart with two foks or chop (I like chopped)
salt as you chop
EAT FAUXBQ AND ENJOY...just dont tell anybody

For you health nuts..FAUXBQ has less fat because the fat drips into the cooking liquid

Bad days need good food.........

Twas a horrible day at the music store.No details here, but trust me, it sucked on the Hoover scale. For those of you not familiar with the Hoover scale, It is laid out like this..... 1.0 being waking up on picture day with a zit on the tip of your nose. 5.0 (or the mooseknuckle of God) being , getting the message that you are having a 10 year IRS audit in the middle of a repeat prostate exam. Hope this explains it.
One of my favorite sandwichs is the Cuban. The Cuban is roast pork, deli ham, swiss cheese and mustard on a bolito roll, covered in butter then pressed in a panni press. Warm,buttery ,porky goodness. I make them 2 or 3 times a year due to the length of time it takes to make the pork roast. Delis in REAL cities have roast pork in the meat counter, alas,as we live in Hooterville, no chance of that . This is the town where the Harris Teeter deli manager told me they didnt carry pastrami becuase it wasnt "kosher".After I cleaned up the pee that I laughed hard enough to release, I cried at the level of plain "Goober-ness" we deal with here in Podunk. I love my hometown (warts and all) and would never move...Oh thats a load of bull poopy...If I had the money, I would be outta here like grease thru a goose. I digress.....

Cuban Roast Pork

1 8 pound pork shoulder roast (or Boston butt)
4 onions (quartered)
2 heads of garlic (mashed)
1 12 oz box of chicken broth
1 cup orange orange juice
1 cup key lime juice
1/4 cup of salt
(This combination is called MOJO pronouced "moho" and works well with any Cuban meat dish)

mix all ingredients together in a deep roasting pan (cept the pork)
rub shoulder with salt and pepper and roll in liquid mixture
Place shoulder in roasting pan, liquid should come half way up the roast
Cover pan with tin foil
Bake in a pre-heated oven (300 degrees) for 4 hours
Remove meat from pan and let rest on a plate for 20 minutes
slice paper thin and rest in cooking liquid to keep warm
This whole recipe goes great with black beans and plantains..... but we are here to make CUBANS!

Two recipes for the price of one !! What a deal !!

sliced roast pork
thinly slice boiled ham
sliced swiss cheese
yellow mustard
sliced dill pickles
butter

To assemble:
layer bottom slice of roll with mustard then roast pork, 1 slice boiled ham ,1 pickle then swiss cheese
butter top and bottom of roll with butter
place in sandwich press (if you dont have a sandwich press, heat a heavy frying pan, then wrap a brick in sevral layers of foil. Butter the brick (yes, butter the bottom of the brick) use the brick as a weight to press the sandwich. Fry till brown and crispy , then enjoy with a Cuba Libre (rum and coke)
bolito rolls (or white sub rolls)

Deep Thoughts.....About Hot dogs

The Hot dog. A simple sausage wrapped in a squishy,white bread bun. Condiments, many and varied.Yet, I would list the good ole hot dog as one of my favorite foods. Easy to make and easy to eat, they also can be a complete catastrophe !! A bad hot dog is worse than almost anything (maybe a tax audit or a prostate exam would rank a little higher). So today I am gonna lay out the rules from proper Hotdoggery (is that a word?) and how to make my world famous hot dog chilli, which I stole from a famous Atlanta Drive-in. So sit back, relax and listen to the rules

#1. Hot Dogs must be pure beef (Though, I have had beef/pork hybrid dogs that were good)
#2 They must have natural casings (this is were the "snap" comes from")
#3 The bun must be steamed.
#4. The dog must be under 1" in diameter (the giant hod dogs some places use are 90% chicken and they always burst from the buns, making the dog inedible.
#5 all condiments must be made fresh daily

There you have it. Very simple rules for Fine Hotdoggery (I like that word, more and more)

Senior Team Hot Dog Chilli (maybe somebody will get the joke)

1 pound 73/27 ground beef (Just cause,Miriam,just cause)
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tsp paprika
2 tablespoons good quality chilli powder
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup yellow mustard
1 shot glass full of cider vinegar
4 or 5 drops of Franks hot sauce
Salt and pepper to taste

Brown the ground beef in a dutch oven or heavy pot
Drain beef if desired (i leave it in, as it adds to the mouth feel)
add all other ingredients and stir
turn chilli down to low and simmer without a lid until the chilli is reduced and thick

Makes great spaghetti suace (add a little parmesan cheese and tomato paste)
Sloppy Joes (add a little sugar) or plain Texas or Cinncinati style chilli (just add beans and hot peppers for Texas ,add a little cinnamon for Cinncinati.

Thats all for today. Fry up some love and go feed somebody!!

Artie's Meatball Sliders , Tiny ,Tasty and way easy

Many years ago and one state away, I was introduced to the "Tindall Burger" from Harolds Bar and Grill in Gaffney SC. (many years later it was featured on Food Networks "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives") Enough history !! That same night I went home and made my own version.My version has more of a sweet and sour chilli sauce and for quickness (for shame) I used frozen meatballs.It is mucho better with homemade. I made my first batch for public consumption for a Dancing Hobos Halloween party. Needless to say, they were a hit. At 2 in the morning, many of my highly intoxicated friends and bandmates were standing around the container, dipping anything (bread, forks,spoons, fingers) to get at the remaining sauce and meatballs.From then on, whenever there was a party "Arties Sliders" had to be there.In quanity. I will now pass on this "sacred" recipe. Make sure that if you take it, sell it to Haliburton or whoever and get rich...That my kids get a cut!!

Artie's Meatball Sliders

1 large bag italian style frozen meatballs
1 pound 73/27 ground beef
1 large bell pepper chopped fine
2 large sweet onions (vidallia,if in season) chopped fine
6 cloves garlic chopped fine
1 small can roasted green chillis chopped fine
2 bottles chilli sauce (it looks like cocktail sauce and is next to the catsup in the grocery store)
1 beer at room temp (5 for the cook, Ice cold)
yellow mustard
catsup
Hot sauce (Franks is still the best, and wimps can deal with its heat level)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
salt and pepper to taste
Potato dinner rolls split in half and toasted (for serving)

In a large heavy pot or dutch oven, brown ground beef
add everything but the meatballs and simmer for 20 minutes
add meatballs put a lid on your pot and simmer for 20 minutes
serve on a toasted bun.I like mine with mustard, cheese and a pickle

P.S. The big pic is of the pizza orgy Sandy Squirell of Spongebobs show was caught in by TMZ. The 2 smaller pics are of me cooking the meatballs (wearing my very sexy Piggly Wiggly T) and of my oldest boy ,Trace enjoying the first one out of the pot!!

Did you ever wonder why on the Spongebob show, That Mr. Krabs number one product (and source of Spongebob's continous trouser wood) is a Krabby Patty ? Think about it..Its a pretty collossal mindscrew. What if Col.Sanders turned out to be a giant Rhode Island red rooster? What if Jack (from Jack-in-the-Box) turned out to be made of styrofoam...wait a tic..that explains why the food there tastes like........Ok , my head is spinning. In the meantime here's the recipe for my Crabby Patties , as this is how I got my kids to eat crab cakes.

Crabby Patties
3 cans white crab meat (not the expensive lump meat)
1 cup breadcrumbs (unflavored)
1 egg beaten (to submission!!)
1/2 cup DUKES mayo (see, there I go again.DUKES folks are you listening?)
1 small bunch green onions, chopped fine
1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1 pinch salt
1 pinch red pepper

Mix everything together in a large bowl.
Mixture should be dry enough to form patties, if not add breadcrumbs a pinch at a time
form patties by hand, about 3" wide and 1" thick
place on waxed paper and chill patties in fridge for 1 hour up to overnight
Preheat large frying pan to med-high and add a small amount of olive oil
when oil ripples, fry patties 2-3 at a time until brown and crisp (3 minutes per side)
drain on paper towels

serve on hamburger buns with cheese, pickles ,onions, tomatoes and tartar sauce

P.S. That picture that heads up this blog is a TMZ hidden camera shot of Sandy Squirrel
getting ripped after a hard day on the Spongebob set!!

By request.....

Hi ya Campers!! Had a decent day at work (shudder, is the world ending?) so good, Im gonna blog twice today...actually I had a request for a recipe!! Yeah Me !! A very good friend from my high schools daze (that is not a misspelling) asked about homemade pimento cheese...very easy to make, very easy to get addicted too as a snack, sandwich or hair conditoner (just kidding, just seeing if you were awake).This will kick the ass of any store bought ,plastic tub goo you have ever made. I am really enjoying this blog. I have had folks asking for my recipes for years and I feel bad not answering every request...so heres your chance, if you have had my cooking before and liked it, ask for anything........well, almost.

Pimento Cheese (version one)

1 pound very sharp cheddar cheese shredded
2 cups Dukes mayo (as many plugs as I give these folks, I should get a endorsment!)
1 tsp cider vinegar
1 small jar of pimentos (found on the canned vegatable isle or substitute roasted red peppers)
1 1/4 cup sugar
pinch of salt, pinch of pepper

Mix all ingredients together till smooth
chill for 1 hour
great on crackers or sandwiches


Pimento cheese (version II) My fave cause its sweet and spicy
Everything is the same, except sub 1 pound pepper jack cheese for the cheddar
add one pinch cayenne pepper

I like to make both, then mix them together, but Im a heathen

Go out there, Fry up some love and feed somebody!!
Art

Now, I don't have a thing against Vegetarians. How someone wishes to eat is their call, but when they try to influnce (by hook ,crook or legislation) the way I eat (cook, think,buy,sell,etc etc.) I have a tendency to get very nasty. Dont like cow? Good for you . Pork not on your plate? Fine, more for me !! But, somethings were NEVER meant for human consumption. I.e TOFU...it has no flavor and has the mouth feel of wet Play-Doh. But, that said,I would never try to stop some poor bastard from trying to eat it. I would never throw anything at a tofu producer and scream "Curd killer!!" So all you PETA freaks, back down, have a burger (beef, black beans are made for cooking with PORK) and relax!!!

Mccaulley's French Toast
2 loaves fresh french bread, sliced into 1" thick slices and toasted
6 eggs well beaten
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup whole milk
2 cups sugar
Tsp good vanilla
Tsp Cinnamon
1 pinch of salt

Mix everything but the bread in a large bowl
Pre-heat a griddle or frying pan with tiny bit of corn oil
Dip slices of bread in bowl hold down until bubbles stop rising
cook on each side until crisp (till all slices are cooked)
place on a buttered baking sheet
preheat oven to 350
place baking sheet in oven and cook till the slices get puffy
serve with a lil' butter and syrup and powdered sugar and jelly, and and and

Aint nothin but a thang or a chicken wing

What a crappy day..felt bad, didnt sell anything and have ballgames tonite...I like those, cept for the hot dogs,which feature the Lips,snouts and a**holes the real food folk threw away. Thats another blog.This is the recipe for the best chicken wings you will ever eat!! You can very the heat with different sauces (which will follow) Hell, I like them plain too !

Cheesy Chicken wings
1 pound chicken drumettes
1 cup flour
1/2 cup powedered parmeasan cheese (yes, this is the ONLY use for that crap in the green can!)
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
oil for frying
1 large ziplock bag

Mix flour, cheese and spices in a ziplock bag and shake to distribute
pat dry the chicken , then add to flour bag and shake again till coated (the chicken, not you)
heat 2 inches of oil in a at least 4 inch deep pan to 375
fry the chicken in batches untill they float (This means they are cooked thru)
store on a plate with a paper towel underneath till you make your sauce
or just eat the damn things plain....they are crunchy ,cheesy and very juicy as the cheese coating seals in everything!!


Buffalo Sauce
1 stick butter melted
1 half cup Franks hot sauce (makes the best)
mix in hot sauce into melted butter, pour into bag add wings and shake till coated

Tiger Sauce (less heat,mo sweet)
1 stick butter melted
1 half cup Tiger sauce (West indies hot sauce, available at any grocery, even Walmart)
ditto Buffalo sauce

Alabama White BBQ sauce (this may sound strange, but it is mighty freakin tasty)
1 cup good mayo (no freakin Hellmans!! Mayo,...not salad dressing !! DUKES MAYO RULES !!
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup white sugar
pinch of salt
picnh of white pepper
mix all ingredients together
place sauce in a bag and shake with wings to coat
This is also wonderful on BBQ sandwiches

Ok, there ya go..best wings ever. Fry up some love tonite and feed somebody!!
Art

My Gumbo Recipe....at long last

I cant believe Im giving this one away.....I have worked on this dish for years. I always make this one with hot sausage,chicken and shrimp, but you can add and subtract at your lesiure.The hardest part is making a roux. The main rule is "Never stop stirring!!" I will be as in depth as I can on this but if ya got any questiions feel free to drop me a note !!

6 chicken thighs
1 pound andoullie sausage
1 pound shrimp (whatever size you like, I prefer tiny ones)
4 strips bacon
4 quarts chicken broth (homemade is best, canned works)
1 beer (whatever you like to drink,nothing dark tho)
1 stick salted butter
3 large sweet onions chopped small
1 large bell pepper ditto
1 can okra drained
1 bunch fresh parsley , leafs chopped fine
garlic...lottsa garlic...as much as you like.I always use a whole head chopped up
Hot sauce
worchestershire sauce
salt and pepper

1. in a large pot brown the bacon till crisp then remove and set aside (cook can eat while making gumbo,yum). While you are doming this, salt and pepper the chicken and brown it in a lttle oil in a seperate pan. drain and let cool
2. add one cup flour to fat and butter and whisk and whisk and whisk some more
3. whisk more
4. you are making a roux. whisk until the flour mixture is the color of melted chocoalte and smells like burnt popcorn. this will take 30 minutes on med-high If you see any black specs...throw it out and start over.
5.add all your chopped veg(not the parsley) into the roux and stir like hell (cook till they are limp)
6.add broth and beer to pot
7. add sausage and chicken (torn into strips) to pot
8. turn pot down to low and simmer for 1 hour stirring every now and then
9. 5 minutes before serving, add shrimp and parsley
10. add hot sauce and worchestershire and salt and pepper to taste
10. Have a beer (or a shot) cause your done!...serve with white rice.
11. Its even better the next day

Is this thing on?

Ok, lets try this again...I had a blog going for a while and just didnt keep up. I am a 44 year old father of 4 ,music store owner and complete goofball. I have a lot of very strong opinions and have no problem letting folks know about them!! Seeing as how this is kinda a intro to Me, I will back off the stuff that will make most of locals wanna ride me out of town on a rail, and give you one of my wonderful recipes (did I mention ,I love to cook?) Everybody eats.......cept that strange Indian guru who claims not to have eaten for 70 years...whatta nimrod.Here ya go


Krab Dip ala Art

2 cans white crab meat
2 blocks cream cheese
1 jar red pepper jelly (the hotter the better)
1 bunch green onions
1 small can sliced black olives
Old bay seasoning
Hot sauce
salt and pepper

Place cream cheese and pepper jelly in a non-reactive bowl and microwave for 30 seconds (till soft)
Beat with a handheld mixer till fluffy
Drain canned crab and fold into mixture
Chop black olives and green onions and fold in
add hot sauce and Old Bay to taste

Line a bowl with plastic wrap
pour in crab dip
cover with plastic wrap and place in refrigarator until set
turn bowl upside down over plate and unmold
Garnish with a little more old bay
Serve with Ritz crackers
Yum

and see, I didnt make up a single damn new word! (Up yours,Rachel Ray!)